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Always have, always will   
07:55am 09/06/2007
  I have always loved two.  
04:25pm 24/06/2005
  I haven't posted here in a long time.

Let's just say "you don't go away" and be done with it.
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For the record...   
12:48pm 15/02/2005
  What is the best 5 word combo in the English language?

Well, at this moment it's "I want to see you".
05:49pm 10/02/2005
05:29pm 24/01/2005
  So, I noticed that last entry was pretty bad sounding.

Well, Jon, if you see this, I just realized it may have made you not like me so much, if you did indeed see it.

But darling, it wasn't geared toward you.

It was actually directed at someone else who would come along every now and then provoking me to feel the things when I had a young girl's crush on him, and I had decided to erase that person from my life so that I might not ever doubt the way I feel about you ever again.

So basically, that was me saying that it was you that I wanted, not him, not ever.

Unrequited crushes are a damnable thing, especially when you don't recognize someone's bad side. I'd take your bad side over anyone good side any day of the week. :)

But as for you, you can ruin my life for as long as you'd like to and that would be just fine. In fact, I insist on it, my dear. I insist on it.
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Not that you'll ever know...   
10:54am 02/01/2005
  ...but it looks like the days of you ruining my life are finally over.  
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01:27pm 28/11/2004
talking heads are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator
You can't read this.   
11:06am 19/09/2004
  I had the most surreal night of my life last night.

Doubt is a fucker. I KNEW I was right. I'm not going to doubt what I know any longer.

Sometimes things aren't black or white. Sometimes, if not almost always, there's a little right mixed in with the wrong.

For the record I think my recent experience was more right than wrong.

And another thing, sometimes you have to be stronger to stay than walk away.

It seems to be that people say "moving on" as opposed to "giving up", and "crawling back" as opposed to "making thing work". . .and it emphasizes false properties of strength and weakness.

And call me gay or whatever, and I've said it before:

"And if never to be seen again, you’re in my air."
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I may be out of it but I’m still into you.   
12:55pm 16/09/2004
  I still believe. Really, I do.

I'm born dead.
08:04am 15/09/2004
  This may be the worst day ever.  
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What're you gonna do about it!?   
03:52pm 14/09/2004

Today is a day to be very much in love.
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I don't wanna.   
03:13pm 13/09/2004
  I don't.  
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The weather.   
10:09am 09/09/2004
  I just stepped outside to get some change out of my car.

It felt like a real September morning. The kind I used to have 2 years ago. I could sit on the porch and drink coffee and read. I could wake up a sleeping boy with kisses and he would join me.

The monring would become afternoon and there were sometimes bike rides. . .maybe even record shopping. But rest assured, hands were held.

When evening arrived there would sometimes be pizzas. Sometimes there was sushi. . .those were lucky nights. But the luckiest nights of all saw us in front of the TV piled onto a recliner until one or the other fell asleep in arms that loved them.

Today is a beautiful day. Make it count.
I can't take this anymore.   
10:19am 08/09/2004
  Everything in the world reminds me of Jon. This fucking sucks. I just know that I'll never see him or talk to him ever again and I don't know how to get over it. I probably haven't even crossed his mind. He's moved on, why can't I? I just wanted to make him happy. But I guess I'm doing that by being out of his life all together. How many times can I say this shit? It doesn't make any difference.

so i'll just say that i hope no one ever has to feel this way.
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It's a day like this...   
11:16am 25/08/2004
  ...if I could do anything I wanted to do today, it would be lock myself in my room, listen to Neutral Milk Hotel and get blitzed out of my skull...

...ACTUALLY...if I could do anything it would be something with you...
There's not really much I can say, not when you can't hear me.   
05:26pm 16/08/2004
  All I can do is sigh when I think about how it could have been, had we really been best friends.  
It passes the time, bru.   
02:29pm 10/08/2004

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses I don't need them all the time.
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies

10. I have been in a threesome Whoa, almost, that one time
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy I'd like to say I believed that
13. I have acne free skin Ugh, once upon a time, what's the deal!?
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton - totally.
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing. (does this mean i have a big weiner? CUZ I DO...) this just sounds really gay
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar

26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast ..sometimes

29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair

31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (female)  or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past - technically, they were acrylic
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look sometimes.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months

40. I know how to do cornrows
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized

44. I think Britney Spears is hot

45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone (only to certain people. otherwise, i loathe it.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God how can you know?
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone

70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated/made out with someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy some country music
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist - obsessive compulsive at times
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome

97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment eh...

Large French Potato Dead   
01:48pm 04/08/2004
  I think that my awesome quote of the day is:

"If you board the ship of lies and become it's captain, you must go down with that ship."

said in reference to the Kobe Bryant accuser dropping the charges
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03:27pm 29/07/2004
  Why am I always afraid?  
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Oh my.   
04:19pm 28/07/2004
  So, I need something new.

This has all been nice, but seriously.

Let's get some sunlight, maybe?

And lemonade.

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